La resilienza come esito del sostegno all’interesse verso l’altro.

rosaluna

Una rosa bramava giorno e notte la compagnia delle api,
ma nessuna veniva a posarsi sui suoi petali.
Il fiore, tuttavia, continuava a sognare:
durante le sue lunghe notti, immaginava un cielo dove volavano molte api,
che venivano affettuosamente a baciarlo.
In questo modo, riusciva a resistere fino al giorno successivo,
quando tornava a schiudersi con la luce del sole.
Una notte, essendo a conoscenza della solitudine della rosa,
la luna domandò:
“Non sei stanca di aspettare?”
“Può darsi. Ma devo continuare a lottare.”
“Perché?”
“Perché, se non mi apro, appassisco.

Coelho P. “Come il fiume che scorre”, 2006[1].

«Affinché [gli individui] possano sviluppare delle relazioni che funzionano, è necessario che le persone si interessino alla qualità dell’esperienza dell’altro, nella stessa misura in cui si interessano della propria» (Lee, 2009, p. 58).
Nel precedente paragrafo abbiamo accennato al concetto di resilienza come qualità presente nelle relazioni intime. In psicologia, tale concetto si riferisce alla capacità di far fronte in maniera positiva agli eventi traumatici, di riorganizzare positivamente la propria vita dinanzi alle difficoltà. È la capacità di ricostruirsi restando sensibili alle opportunità positive che la vita offre, senza perdere la propria umanità.
La ricerca fatta sul tema della “resilienza” ha portato a concludere che «Le persone resilienti sono coloro che, immerse in circostanze avverse, riescono, nonostante tutto e talvolta contro ogni previsione, a fronteggiare efficacemente le contrarietà, a dare nuovo slancio alla propria esistenza e perfino a raggiungere méte importanti. (…) La persona “resiliente” può essere considerata quella che ha avuto uno sviluppo psicoaffettivo e psicocognitivo sufficientemente integrati, sostenuti dall’esperienza, da capacità mentali sufficientemente valide, dalla possibilità di poter giudicare sempre non solo i benefici, ma anche le interferenze emotivo-affettive che si realizzano nel rapporto con gli altri» [2] .
Sembra interessante che nell’ultima parte della definizione, venga indicata come caratteristica essenziale della resilienza, la possibilità che la persona ha avuto di considerare non solo gli aspetti positivi dell’esperienza, ma anche gli aspetti negativi e le interferenze e, a partire da questi, l’aver potuto sviluppare strategie efficaci per poterle fronteggiare e farle diventare occasioni di crescita e di sviluppo.
Restando nell’ambito della ricerca, abbiamo trovato, tra le diverse teorie e modelli proposti per la descrizione del concetto di resilienza, uno in particolare che ci è sembrato che si potesse ben sposare con il concetto di sviluppo e di dominio proposto da Margherita Spagnuolo Lobb. Si tratta della teoria di Richardson (1990)[3] che concepisce la resilienza come basata sull’esistenza, nella persona, di propensioni che, nel corso dello sviluppo, vengono nutrite, si rafforzano e si complessificano man mano che l’individuo è chiamato a fronteggiare situazioni di vita che modificano il suo stato iniziale di omeostasi.
Nella descrizione del processo di resilienza, Richardson parte dal concepire uno stato di “Omeostasi biopsico-spirituale” ovvero l’adattamento della mente, del corpo e dello spirito alle proprie condizioni di vita siano esse buone o cattive. Secondo l’autore, questo stato è una specie di “spazio confortevole” al quale tendiamo a rimanere attaccati, ma che è continuamente bombardato da stimoli sia interni che esterni: eventi stressanti, avversità, ma anche opportunità, nuove possibilità, ricordi piacevoli o spiacevoli ecc. La serietà con cui vengono percepite queste sollecitazioni, dipende da quanto, in precedenti momenti di sospensione-reintegrazione, la persona è riuscita a potenziare e a rafforzare le proprie qualità resilienti. Per affrontare gli eventi della vita ognuno di noi infatti coltiva, attraverso sospensioni e reintegrazioni, le proprie qualità resilienti e gradualmente impara a far fronte ad alcuni eventi stressanti senza uscire dal proprio stato di omeostasi. Quando però ci si trova a far fronte a pensieri, sentimenti, avversità, eventi positivi o negativi, mai sperimentati fino a quel momento, o sperimentati senza che ci sia stata una vera e propria crescita con il conseguente potenziamento di qualità resilienti, l’interazione tra questi eventi e i fattori protettivi determina la sospensione o meno dell’omeostasi. Il momento di “Sospensione” equivale al punto di biforcazione, è un momento nel quale il modo di vedere e affrontare il mondo è costretto a cambiare e il cambiamento potrà essere positivo o negativo. Potenzialmente la precedente modalità di gestire la propria realtà e il proprio stato di omeostasi potrebbe essere arricchita e resa più complessa e completa attraverso l’aggiunta di un nuovo tassello: questo è il momento durante il quale le qualità resilienti innate possono essere potenziate.
Nel momento della sospensione si attraversano due sottofasi. Prima affiorano tutta una serie di emozioni (dolore, abbandono, senso di colpa, perplessità, confusione, stupore) che inducono alla riflessione e all’introspezione. È il momento che Richardson definisce del “povero me!” nel quale, chi ci sta accanto deve limitarsi ad ascoltare ed essere empatico. Poi gradualmente, in modo conscio o inconscio, si inizia a riflettere sulle possibili strategie da mettere in atto. Nel momento in cui si accede a questa seconda sottofase ha inizio il processo di “Reintegrazione” che può avere quattro diversi esiti.
Nella reintegrazione resiliente attraverso il processo introspettivo si riescono ad identificare e nutrire le proprie qualità resilienti. Questa fase porta con sé il potenziamento delle proprie capacità di coping e sfocia nella crescita, conoscenza, comprensione di sé e nell’incremento della forza delle qualità resilienti.
Nel ritorno allo stato di omeostasi viene persa l’opportunità di crescere e ci si limita ad affrontare e superare il momento attuale di disequilibrio per poi ritornare alla stato di partenza senza che ci sia stato il rafforzamento della propria capacità di coping e delle qualità resilienti. Ciò che viene a mancare è il momento di riflessione e introspezione che viene saltato a favore di una ricerca immediata di soluzioni pratiche al problema.
Anche nella reintegrazione con perdita viene a mancare il momento di riflessione e introspezione. Ma, a differenza del ritorno allo stato di omeostasi, le soluzioni che vengono scelte si dimostrano essere al di sopra delle possibilità di gestione dell’individuo che riuscirà con fatica ad affrontare e superare l’evento e concluderà il momento di sospensione e reintegrazione con la perdita della stima in se stesso, della motivazione, della speranza e talvolta della spinta ad affrontare la vita.
Nella reintegrazione disfunzionale si verifica lo scenario peggiore, ovvero il ricorso a comportamenti non adattativi, come l’uso di alcool e/o di droghe o di comportamenti auto ed etero distruttivi, messi in atto per affrontare l’evento che ha sconvolto la vita. Anche in questi casi però, il più delle volte, grazie ad un opportuno intervento terapeutico, è possibile che si verifichi una reintegrazione resiliente posticipata.
Ad esempio: una ragazzina abusata può andare incontro ad una iniziale reintegrazione disfunzionale o con perdita, ma in seguito, da adulta, all’interno di un contesto terapeutico protetto potrà riaffrontare i blocchi del suo passato attraverso un nuovo momento di sospensione e reintegrazione dal quale uscirà fortificata. Guardando questa teoria in chiave gestaltica, potremmo dire che la possibilità di rinforzare il dominio della resilienza, deriva dalle possibilità relazionali nutrienti che la persona ha nella propria vita e che aumentano le probabilità che l’esito dell’esperienza sia quanto più possibile vicino alla reintegrazione resiliente piuttosto che agli altri tre esiti.
Ancora una volta, nella nostra ottica, la relazione rappresenta il ground che consente di far rifiorire nella persona le sue doti umane e interpersonali, mettendola nella condizione di potere sviluppare la più ampia gamma possibile di adattamenti creativi che possano essere espressioni sempre più armoniche del proprio modo di essere-con.

Tratto dalla Tesi di Specializzazione in Psicoterapia della Gestalt
“La danza relazionale nell’esperienza risanatrice del perdono”
Dr.ssa Milena Dell’Aquila, 2014


[1] Coelho P. (2006) Come il fiume che scorre. Milano: Mondolibri, p. 303.
[2] Rif. in http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resilienza_(psicologia)
[3] Richardson, G. E., Neiger, B., Jensen, S., & Kumpfer, K. (1990). The resiliency model. Health Education, in Peveri L. (A.A. 2008-2009) Resilienza e regolazione delle emozioni. un approccio multimodale. Dottorato di Ricerca in Scienze della Formazione e della Comunicazione. Università degli Studi Di Milano – Bicocca.
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